Depression

Sometimes when you're left alone with your thoughts, this is what comes out....

I close my eyes

Only to feel them swell up with tears

Imagining dreams lost

Hopeless hopes

And endless fears

Never knowing if tomorrow brings happiness

Never knowing if you're in it

I suppress these feelings

But then they come back and overtake me

I float in a state of listlessness

Longing to see you

Thinking that will save me

Turning myself inside out

Waking each day with doubts

Does he love and need me too

The way I love and need him

Or is he with another

Keeping her tight next to him

My mind hurts

And my brain is numb

I'm looking for something

To help me overcome

The pain I feel when you're far away

I need to be in your arms

I need to lay where you lay

My legs are heavy and my eyes are dark

There is no feeling

No help

No spark

I just lay here thinking

If you need me the way that I need you

I'm in a haze

What the fuck am I going to do?

I can't be in this existence

Not alone...not without you....

Depression....

©Alicia Shepard 2012